The Epic Adventures of Lateman

Gather round, friends, and listen to a heroic tale of danger and crime-fightery! Born early and making up for it ever since, this is the story of Lateman, a super-hero of an unpunctual persuasion.

Lateman has his own theme song! (Basically, it's late 60's "Batman", but all of the lyrics are about Lateman, and are delivered a second or two later than they should).

The running gag behind Lateman is that he can never arrive at the scene of a crime on time. Despite this apparent handicap, he usually saves the day through a careful combination of random happenstance and deus ex machina.

Early one fateful morning, Lateman lies asleep in bed. Suddenly, the Comissioner calls on his wierd little phone-clock-alarm thing.

After a few false starts, Lateman leaps from his bed (fully costumed) in a dramatic flurry of gently falling sheets and blankets. He poses (dramatically) for an instant, then ponders aloud his need to "get dressed." Rushing from his room and across the hall, he enters a small Trophy Room, and approaches a pair of sunglasses which are prominently on display atop a pedestal in the center of the room. Grabing them, he holds them over his head (dramatically) before putting them on and taking a moment to appreciate how very cool they are. Turning on his heel, he walks back into the hallway.

Again picking up his pace, Lateman rushes into his library, where he heads towards a bookcase on the far wall, slamming his hand down on a button on his way. The bookcase slides to the side as he approaches it, revealing a hidden passageway which Lateman leaps into without slowing.

A few feet down the secret staircase-tunnel, the lights on the ceiling overhead flicker and go out, causing Lateman to stop and remove his glasses. Looking annoyed but determined, he treads steadfastedly on into the darkness. At the bottom of the staircase, a single lamp illuminates a metal portal in the floor, which opens at Lateman's approach. Leaping into it (again without slowing), Lateman free-falls down a vertical shaft for a moment before grabbing ahold of a fireman's pole and sliding down it to the bottom.

Skipping ahead a bit, we see Lateman traversing across a precarious chasm, leaping from foothold to foothold.

Skipping ahead a bit more, we see Lateman wandering through a gigantic underground maze. He still hasn't left his secret lair.

Some time later, a garage door in a gritty urban area slowly opens while a police officer chases a bank robber in front of it. When the garage fully opens, the Latemobile (basically, Lateman driving a Dodge Monaco) flies out into the street, smacking into the bank robber and sprawling him all over the sidewalk. Lateman saves the day, yet again! Eventually.